Linux rules and related disparagement of Microsoft Page
Don't read this unless you like rants. Read my Linux Hints and Fixes instead.
This page serves several dubious purposes all at once, thereby preventing this type of thing from creeping into the rest of my website. Consider it a sort of quarantine. Here are the several dubious purposes:
- Define evil (Microsoft) and give three examples (Win95/Win98/WinME).
- The typical geek's obligatory bump-up-the-counters page (see Operating Systems Sucks-Rules-O-Meter for a few relevant cluons)
- Belong to a web ring (webrings — like onion rings, a tasty idea, if only they weren't so full of bad calories and 404 errors).
- Use lots of animated GIFs, links to and pictures from other sites, and other similar stuff I typically avoid (but not frames or blinking text. Blinking text and frames suck so bad I wouldn't even use 'em on an ugly page like this.)
- Make people waste lots of bandwidth loading images.
- Stick just a little bit of stuff so far to the right that everyone, no matter how big their monitor is, has to scroll to the right to see it.
- More gratuitous Microsoft-bashing, a purpose so vital it counts twice.
- Did I mention, show off how easy it is to do crap like this in RHTF? Maybe I shouldn't be calling attention to that...
Okay, so here we go. First the text and then the graphics — if you want to wallow in ugliness scroll down:
Linux rules. (That was in the title wasn't it?) Linux rules. Oh yeah, and Linux rocks too.
Microsoft Windows 1.0 royally sucked. It sucked so bad that no-one really used it. Everything in-between Windows 1.0 and Windows 3.0 sucked badly enough that I don't remember anything about them. Windows 3.0 actually seemed a bit cool at the time, inasmuch as it allowed running multiple DOS sessions simultaneously (remember "386 Enhanced mode"?), but once I tried to use it I realized it sucks.
Windows 3.1 sucks. Why not fire up the old '486SX just to make sure? Yup, it still sucks.
Windows 95 sucked next, and used way more disk space, memory and CPU time in the process. 4 out of 5 Cyrix MediaGX processors agree: Windows 95 sucks.
Then they developed Windows NT, which sucks not quite as bad as anything up to that point, but still more than enough to merit a few mentions here. Windows NT sucks in a server-class way.
Windows CE sucks so bad that its self-chosen abbreviation "WinCE" is poetically appropriate. I think someone in Redmond was up late one night thinking, hey, let's take the largest most wasteful operating system and cram it into the smallest platform — yeah, a PDA, that's the ticket!
Okay, you're getting the idea. Microsoft Bob sucks, Windows 98 sucks, WinME sucks and Win2000 sucks too. Wait a minute. Microsoft Bob sucked so bad it really deserves a little disparagement page of its own, a sort of double-quarantined shrine to the Redmond-Borg's uberwerken of suckdom. But I can't be bothered. By the way, can you believe I've actually gotten this far without directly stating the obvious, "Microsoft sucks"? Such a transgression demands triple compensation: Microsoft sucks, Microsoft sucks, and Microsoft sucks some more.
Let's make sure we cover all the bases. Simply putting "Win95" and "sucks" in the same sentence isn't enough for some search engines. They have to actually appear in order: Windows 3.1 sucks, Windows 95 sucks, Win95 sucks, Windows CE sucks, WinCE sucks, Microsoft Bob sucks, Windows 98 sucks, Win98 sucks, Windows NT sucks, WinNT sucks.
Could it have been because so many people were saying that Microsoft Windows 2000 sucks before the product came out, that they needed to come out with another version of Windows 98 (the already well-established king of suck) and call it Windows ME? Doesn't matter, Windows ME sucks too. Microsoft sucks. Got that?
What's really surprising and kinda sad about all this is that there are loads of great people at Microsoft, and yet Microsoft as an entity manages to suck just the same. Something sucky happens when you pile that many people together and convince them that their code will be used by half the computers in the free world and that no-one will be able to disable/customize/bugfix any of it.
It would appear that Microsoft and Bill Gates are the ideal embodiments of utmost evil. I'd better say it again without the links so the simpler search engine robots will catch it: Microsoft and Bill Gates are the ideal embodiments of utmost evil. Is that clear?
Here's a bit of good stuff to balance out all the bad: GNU rules. Linux rules. OSS rules.
Okay, enough of this silliness. Escape now or go ahead and scroll through my ugly agglomeration-O-images:
Where do you want Microsoft to go today?
Evil Empires... one down, one to go
Where do you think you're going today?
The tactical situation in 2003
how it stood in late 2000
and how it stood a couple years earlier
Well, since you're still here — why not adorn your home page with any of these attractive and meaningful graphic emblems:
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I am Registered Linux User #192876 (Click that link and check out the abacus with the impaled Tux penguins. Ouch!)
 Ever wonder why... |
 ... you can't do this? | Scroll right here if you're really bored → | → → → | → → → | → → → | → → → | keep going → | → → → | → → → | almost there → | → → → | → → → | Why do some people make web pages that are twice as wide as the widest monitors? | And why does the browser allow it? |
This was really true for a while. I think Microsoft made Google "fix" it
A story about this incident, the first of several such "Google bombs",
is
here on CNN
more related links I don't have pictures for yet
In a freak overclocking accident a copy of Windows 95 was sent back in time (and magically compressed) onto a Commodore-64 floppy disk. Here was the result:
The 6502's worst nightmare
Here's a big mess of HTML I just couldn't be bothered to convert to RHTF:
| This
Anti-microsoft Webring site |
This mad and messy compilation is © 2000 Robert Munafo. Some individual source materials are copyrighted by their respective owners. Microsoft, Windows, Windows CE, Windows NT, Windows ME, Microsoft Internet Explorer, .net, Bob, the letter "E", the letter "I", the letter "O", the letter "X", "Where Do You Want to Go Today?", and Monster Truck Madness are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. No Microsoft products were used in the creation of this Network. All trademarks are the property of their respective holders.
This page was written in the "embarrassingly readable" markup language RHTF, and was last updated on 2018 Jan 06.
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