Know Your Enemy Syllabus (Lyons)
ENROLLMENT LISTENING - KNOW YOUR ENEMY
mlg.051407-a
There is a very real crisis in Masculine Identity. Men are struggling to know themselves, express themselves and relate to others, all while NEVER HAVING KNOWN THEMSEVES AS MEN.
I have realized that I been lying about my commitment to Men knowing themselves as Men.
Have You?
Having a man do The Men's Weekend and Legacy Discovery can't just be a "good idea". Either we are a stand for something and fight for it, or we should quit.
The 2 Big lies that we have been telling each-other for over 20 years:
"You can't want it (to have a man do the Men's Weekend or L.D.) more for the man than the man does". Men who haven't done an initiation event — haven't done an initiation event. They don't really know what's available. So, of course you want it more for the man than the man does — and you should want it more than the man does.
"You have to risk the relationship". Risking is of no consequence, you have to BE the relationship. Be the type of relationship that is a stand for that man living his live as The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be. Be the relationship in that man's life so that; if his wife cheats on him with his best friend, you are the man that he calls FIRST.
Do you want to be a powerful man? — here's how: BE A POWERFUL MAN in the lives of men everywhere NOW — everywhere you go. Refuse to stand-by. Be the CAUSE and take responsibility for that man living his life as The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be. This requires a shift in the way you are BEING.
Men like us are in danger of becoming Jaded.
This is how bad Jaded sounds: (pause) "I got mine". (pause — repeat if necessary)
This Crisis in Masculinity is bad — Warriors are needed. We need to re-affirm that — that is, in fact who we are and what we are up-to. But there is a problem...
The Enemy:
The little voice in your head that tells you what is going on. Do you want to hear it?
Demo: (stop talking 20 sec. make sure that it gets uncomfortable) Hear it? What Did it say?
The Enemy's job is to tell you how what you are hearing compares to how you have been in the past. This keeps you focused on the past.
So The Enemy's Job is to keep you the same — stopped on the path to being TMYHAWTB.
If we are going to change Enrollment and Registration (and we are), we are going to need to change 3 things:
NUMBER 1:
The first thing that we have to change is our Listening. I believe that Enrollment Lives in how we Listen. We need to change from the Enemy's Listening (how does this compare to the past) to Listening FOR something. Listening FOR something instead of to your own concerns has the men that you are listening to do the same; Listen FOR something (what is possible and available to him in an Initiation Event), as opposed to THEIR OWN concerns.
Good News: This means that we NEVER have to listen to a man's concerns about doing the Weekend again. Think about the Enrollment Conversations in the past where that is all that you did! — Never Again.
Remember, every man's Enemy's Job is to keep him in the past — stopped on the path to Being The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be.
We can no longer take counsel from the Enemy, and we can no longer allow other men to do the same. We call this type of Listening "Enrollment Listening".
When we operate, communicate and relate in this way, what gets produced is; you experience yourself getting into action. Not necessarily being in action — but called to action. We have all had these kinds of masculine, connected and empowering types of conversations before — and you know what it feels like — and you know when you are doing it — and when you are not.
NUMBER 2:
The next thing that we have to change is how to make the leap from "called to action" to actually taking action. This requires a REASON. There must be a reason that powerfully calls you into action. The Enemy's Job (remember The Enemy?) is to tell you that this reason is really not that important, or that you can wait, or that someone else will do it. In other words; any rationale that will have you stay the same — and NOT take action.
But there are powerful reasons all around you. LOOK INTO THE FACE OF ANY MAN THAT YOU SEE STRUGGLING — while you STAND-BY.
The best way to begin to make the leap is to Declare. Declare publicly (like to your Men's Team) or Privately (like a daily affirmation), whatever the method — you must say it out-loud — you must speak it into being. It cannot be a thought — thoughts are too susceptible to The Enemy, too easy to turn into "just a good idea".
So we have 2 things so far; Enrollment Listening, and Converting the feeling of Experiencing yourself getting into action to actually Creating Action (Declaring) — and how to battle The Enemy regarding both.
NUMBER 3:
Lastly you need to Take A Stand. It's not hard for Men to take a stand, but it is hard to stay there.
Consider this: There is a particular kind of "no" that stops you every time. You have allowed this kind of "no" to be more powerful than your stands. (Give an example of your paricular type of "no" — that stops you") What's your type of "no" that stops you every time? (Get responses).
So you know that — that "no" can stop you — so... The Enemy compensates for you...
Check this out: The Enemy arranges your life — and — the conversations in your life so that you never have to hear or get this particular kind of "no". You are not being TMYHAWTB with the people in your life if you are relating to them in a way that avoids you having to hear your particular kind of "no". This has you be less than effective with people. Even Worse: people that you know well; know what type of "no" shuts you down and will use it to get their way if push comes to shove.
The Enemy runs your life this way and it tells you that — that is how you want it!
It keeps you the same. Stopped on the path to bring TMYHAWTB.
So there are 3 things: Enrollment Listening, Creating Action and Taking a Stand.
EXERCISE:
I am going to prove to you how powerful you are when you are not counseled by The Enemy.
Pair-up with another man that you may not know so well, pick an A and a B.
B This is an opportunity to practice Listening in the way I have been describing — Listening for The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be, Listen to A for THAT and NOTHING ELSE.
Here we go:
A tell B the NAME of a man in your life that I have been describing (a victim of The Crisis in Masculinity)
A tell B a POSSIBILITY (not a Result, but what WE Have in the Men's Division that is available) for that man as a result of him doing an Initiation Event and joining us.
A tell B a RESULT for that man and his life and/or the people in his life if he did that.
Now — B ask A "What would that produce?" (remind them to Listen only to The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be)
Now — B ask A "and What would THAT produce?"
Now — B ask A "and What would THAT produce?" (remind them again, to Listen only to The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be)
Now — B ask A "and What would THAT produce?"
Now — B ask A "and What would THAT produce?" (remind them once again to to Listen only to The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be)
Now I am going to say something and you are going to hear 2 distinct voices; the first will be mine and the second will be The Enemy's.
Ready? Here we go. A's That fifth result, the response to the fifth time you were asked "and what would that produce?" — THAT — IS WHO YOU ARE. (and The Enemy says... ? (Get responses))
Switch and Repeat
That Fifth Result did you hear it? Who created that? (You Did). Did you hear Your Enemy? What did he say? — Disregard what he said — it's OK to notice it, but you don't HAVE TO listen to it.
Did you experience yourself getting into action?
Is that fifth result worth taking a stand for? (REASON)
Then Take A Stand (What is Your Stand?) (have A's & B's make their declarations to each other)
Note: This voice in your Head (The Enemy) will always be there — your whole life — you are never going to get rid of it.
The important questions to ask yourself when you hear it is: "Who's Talking" (pause) and then ask "Who's is Listening" (pause).
You can notice that voice — hear that voice, but you don't have to Listen to that voice.
(Wrap-Up)
The result of this exercise should be that there is now a whole new world of men available to you as candidates for the Men's Weekend or L.D.. Men who could be here with us — working on The Man That He Always Wanted To Be.
No longer is it a pre-requisite to have a relationship with a man BEFORE you talk to him about an Initiation Event. Because; who are we to know when a Man is ready? If he blows his brains-out or beats his wife tomorrow — you waited too long. But you still want to wait until the relationship is ready? Why? — Because we are relationship Experts!?! Do you really want to wait?
You know what happens when you decide to wait? — you both get older — that's all.
The Power of a Stand (vs. a Request)
1. You (they) can trust a Stand vs. a "Good Idea" (provide an Enrollment Conversation Example of each)
2. A Stand can't be disappointed (If I say "no I don't want to" — to a Request, it creates a issue between us — something that I can't provide to you. I have let you down)
3. A Stand Creates Action (It already exists, whether it is acted upon or not)
4. There is no Debate or Negotiation (If you have a "good idea, I could counter with a "better idea")
5. A Stand is not what you think (opinion), it is who you are.
Think about a man in your life that you see is struggling.
Think about it now — do you have any men in mind? (Yes they do) Who?
And this from a bunch of men for whom — "everyone in their lives has either done the Men's Weekend or is never going to". (This is our collective Enemy Speaking — This is how we become Jaded)
WARNING: These men will be at the effect of "Their Enemy", so remember how to Listen (Enrollment Listening), make sure that you are having the kind of masculine, connected and empowering conversation that will have you both experience being "Called To Action" and then Declare -- Create Action — then be an example of a man who empowers himself by Taking a Stand for that Man living his life as The Man He Has Always Wanted To Be.
Remember, you NEVER have to Listen to a man's concerns about doing an Initiation Event again.
You can see men all around you, everyday that are operating at the effect of The Crisis in Masculinity. Don't Fail Them.
Summary: LISTEN, CALLED TO ACTION — CREATE ACTION, TAKE A STAND — AND NEVER LISTEN TO THE ENEMY.
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(NOTE: I find it a bit hard to follow the language, which is strongly based on Erhard culture, and plan to put a rewritten version here. Let me know if you want me to create it sooner.)
Here are the major wording changes I'd like to try out. I do not intend any of this to impact the actual results of the exercise, just make it easier to be delivered effectively to a wider audience.
"Enrollment" should be replaced throughout by "promotion", one of the promotive dimensions endorsement, referral or affinity, and/or longer phrases as is appropriate in each instance.
"Men Have No Relationship Skills" is a superstition (in the Landmark-jargon sense) — an unfortunate myth created by hours of mind-numbing insistence on that point by Justin Sterling in each Men's Weekend. Unfortunately, it is not true, and needs to be un-learned. In addition to the (masked and invulnerable) "bullshit" or "getting laid" type skills, and the "competitive-advantage", or "salesforce technique", Men also have mature masculine-style, (primarily based on the Lover and Magician) relationship skills that they can and do need to learn and develop. However, we need to "accept" the superstition within the existing MDI culture and work around it.
To deliver the necessary distinctions within the listening of the superstition, replace "Relationship Skills" with "Enrollment Strategies". Specifically: The various Awareness and Listening methods in the Legacy Discovery, the changes added to this exercise by Fishkin, and charisma: Men can utilize their particular Charisma skills (which dimensions of Charisma they manifest) by approaching other men in a way that best takes advantage of the self's particular type of charisma. Thus, Jim Smith needs to build affinity first; Mike Clinton can probably ask anybody right away.
This page was written in the "embarrassingly readable" markup language RHTF, and was last updated on 2009 Jan 31.
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