This page presents the syllabus for a marriage initiation ritual (a.k.a. "wedding ceremony"), written for use by opposite- or same-sex partners. I developed this for use in my own actual wedding, but also intend it to be available for others to adapt and use as they wish.

Therefore, in case I don't make it obvious, you should feel free to change individual elements (such as music choices, order of activities, etc.) to suit your own situation.

This ritual is being developed in collaboration with Dorry Bless, of Circle Of Life Ceremonies who I can recommend to others interested in distinctive ceremonies in the PA/NJ/NY area.

Explanation of Format

Font and style variations are used to convey different types of information, as follows:

Master, Derivative and Auxiliary Documents

This document is a "master" containing information from which two derivative documents can be produced: a program for the guests, and a cue sheet for the celebrant, photographer and sound system operator. It is also anticipated that customized scripts for the celebrant and wedding party members could be created, if such a thing were desired.

In addition, auxiliary documents are provided as appendices. These contain material of interest to specific parties, such as the team responsible for the tent and chairs.

Program

The program is a guide for the guests to keep track of the progress of the ceremony, and gain insight into the symbolic significance of certain ritual elements. It is produced from this document by eliminating many of the script items: Spoken and paraphrased lines and most of the stage directions. The music cues and bold text are included in the program.

Cue Sheet

The cue sheet is a special list of musical selections (including intentional periods of silence) that serves as a script for use by the person running the sound system. It also includes some of the (parenthetical text) indicating stage directions, and purpose of each part of the ceremony. Copies should also be provided to the celebrant and the photographer, to give them an idea how long they will have to perform their roles during each "scene" of the ceremony.

Preparatory Work

In addition to the dozens or hundreds of things on an ordinary wedding planning checklist, the following special considerations apply to this ceremony:

[_] A rehearsal event of some type (such as the typical "rehearsal dinner") is essential.

[_] Invite at least 5 men and 5 women to the rehearsal event, to serve as archetypes (explained below). Prepare them in advance for the idea that they might be speaking a sentence that expresses a generic characterization of certain desirable personality traits.

[_] Copy this text into new documents, and edit out the parts that are not needed, to produce a script for the celebrant and cue sheets for the photographer and sound engineer. You can also use this text as source material for the printed program.

[_] Prepare index cards for the archetypes to use, and have them ready before the rehearsal event. Each should have the spoken line that they speak, and instructions for when and how they enter (see below). It may help to have two copies of each card, and leave the second copy in the person's position (where they will be sitting or standing during the ceremony) so they don't have to worry about losing their card.

[_] At the rehearsal event, decide which people will be each archetype. I suggest letting the women have a little discussion amongst themselves to do this, and likewise for the men. They may want your input, that's find, but it's also nice to let them each choose one they identify with well.

Physical Setup

There are 11 people in the wedding party: the celebrant, the couple being married, and eight archetypes.

These people will all sit and/or stand in various positions inside an open circular space, with the boundary of said space being the guests, who will be sitting in chairs arranged around all sides of the circle, in four "quadrants" with aisles in between.

In the center of the circle is the celebrant and (eventually) the couple to be married.

The archetypes, representing aspects of human personality, are placed in four directions which can be thought of as "east", "south", etc.

This drawing shows the basic idea of the circular seating plan and placement of "archetypes":

Figure 1: Arrangement of Archetypes and Guest Seating, Unconstrained Space

(PRODUCTION NOTES: A drawing that includes measurements and instructions on how to arrange chairs in a circle (Appendix B), should be provided to the team responsible for chairs.

"North", "east" and so on here are symbolic directions only. If outdoors with plenty of room, "north" will actually be to the north. If under a tent or some in other more constrained space, the "east-west" directions will be aligned with the LONGER dimension of the space (see figure 2 below).

In addition, standard wheelchair-width clearance should be provided in all places a person would need to travel in order to walk around the outside of the entire seating array; enter and leave any aisle, and to get past any of the four pairs of archetypes. One should be able to pass them on any desired side — left or right, behind or in front.

To accomodate this, it may be necessary to have (for example) only one complete circle of chairs; the remaining chairs being placed in curved arcs (in the "east" and "west" as just described — although these will probably not be the actual directions of east and west.) See figure 2 below.)

Constrained Space: If there is insufficient space in all directions to place all of the seats in concentric circles, the seating will be adjusted to accomodate. In this situation the archetypes should be placed so that "east" and "west" are the sides that have most of the seats. This allows the majority of the guests to see the couple being married from the side while they face the celebrant, and to see one of them from the front when they face each other:

Figure 2: Arrangement for Rectangular Constrained Space

If there is a desire for guests to be seated according to which fiance(e) they are related to, this can be done by placing one "side of the family" in the seats in the "northeast" and "southeast" quadrants (the right half of figures 1 and 2), and the other guests in the other two quadrants. Note that the persons to be married will be entering from the east and west, so each will be entering from "their part of the community".

Symbolism of the Physical Layout and Timing of Processional

The site (preferably outdoors, where one can see elements of nature that the couple admire, e.g. ocean or mountains, etc.) represents all of creation, the world we live in, and the ages of past history. The site exists before the guests arrive.

The guests represent humanity, and more specifically the community of the couple being married, and that community's history. The guests are in place before the archetypes arrive.

Positioned inside the "community" are the various archetypes — dimensions of mature personality, of both feminine and masculine nature. The archetypes are in place before the fiance(e)s arrive.

Within the archetypes, the fiance(e)s (persons to be married) enter and travel in a clockwise direction some way around the circle. This represents their separate life-journeys, contained within their community, and existing within the context of the mature personality dimensions (see the books in the bibliography, specifically Moore/Gillette and Conway, for descriptions and examples of how people develop and experience archetypes during their life-maturation process). This symbolic life journey occurs before the couple meet.

After "journeying" for a period of time, the couple then walk toward each other and meet. This represents the formation of their relationship. Moving to the center of the circle reflects a symbolic achievement of balance by bringing their (almost certainly different) character strengths together. In the center of the circle, all eight personality attributes are felt with equal strength. The meeting occurs before the wedding.

After all of this physical (things containing other things) and temporal (things occuring before other things) context is established, the ceremony itself proceeds along chronilogical lines: The ceremony outlined here contains elements used in many different cultures, arranged to follow the history of the couple —

• Recognition of their origins (e.g. honoring past and/or elder family members)

• Outlining the story of their relationship's origin and development

• Asserting their individual commitments

• Asserting mutual commitment (vows, rings)

• Declaring the marriage

• A blessing for the future.

— — -- music cue: Various Classical Pieces (m: Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, etc.) [roughly 30:00 total]

(A selection of classical pieces will be provided to the sound operator, which can be played in any appropriate order, and serve as background music as the guests assemble in the ceremony area)

— — -- music cue: 2 minutes of silence (m, l: John Cage) [2:00]

(This is intended to give the guests the impression that something "might" be about to happen.)

— — -- music cue: Circle of Life (Broadway version) (m: Elton John, l:Tim Rice, Hans Zimmer and Lebo M.) [4:31]

SOUND OPERATOR: (Play the entire piece — then wait at least 15 seconds before beginning the next piece of music. If there are still special guests being seated, like parents of the bride/groom, wait until they are all seated and the ushers if any have left, before moving on.)

CELEBRANT: (Enter as soon as this music begins, at whatever pace you deem appropriate, so long as you are in the center within the first 2 minutes of the music. Our parents will also be seated during this music. You can coordinate with us to arrange which aisle(s) are used by the ushers so you don't get in each other's way.)

(This is an "energizer" piece of music to tell the guests that the formal ceremony is starting. During the soft interlude, which begins about 2:30 into the piece, any special guests, such as the mother of the groom, should be escorted in.)

The first piece of music in the ceremony is from the opening of the Disney film The Lion King. It is used here to symbolize three things:

Before there were people (represented by the Archetypes, to follow) there was the Earth and the animals.

The "circle of life", as in the movie, is a metaphor for the temporal (time) cycle. Weddings are one of the punctuating events of life-experience that are repeated as time goes by — most people experience them first as young guests witnessing the marriage of older relatives and friends, then as participants when they get married themselves, and finally as parents, uncles and aunts, etc. as the next generation gets married.

The physical circle you are sitting in is also a "circle of life", representing humanity and the community. In this "community" sense, the circle symbolizes peer equality (as in "round table"), and inclusion (the community surrounds the persons who are in it, such as those being married today.) Cultures around the world recognize that it is only within the context of a supportive community that a marriage can exist.

— — -- music cue: Battle of Stirling (Braveheart soundtrack) (m: James Horner) [approx. 1:30: fade out when men are in position]

SOUND OPERATOR: (Watch the male archetypes enter, and fade this music out after all four are standing still and facing the center of the circle. Then wait 15 seconds before beginning the next piece of music.)

(When the music starts, the four Masculine Archetypes, one at a time, enter from the side of the circle opposite their place, cross in the center, and stand in their designated places:

1. the WARRIOR enters from the west and walks to stand in the east,

2. the LOVER enters from the north and crosses to the south,

3. the MAGICIAN enters from the east and goes to the west,

4. the KING begins in the south and ends up in the north.)

The Battle of Stirling Bridge, depicted in the movie Braveheart, was part of a war of independence fought by Scotland around 700 years ago. It is not near the hometowns of my Scottish anscestors, and the place name is not related to the type of silver or any other uses of the word "sterling" spelled with an E.

The four men who are entering now, and the four women who follow, all represent Archetypes of Human Character. These "archetypes" will be described aloud, and are also summarized here. You are invited to select one of these that you identify with, or that you find admirable in others.

— — -- music cue: Canon in D (m: Pachelbel) [approx. 1:30]

SOUND OPERATOR: (Watch the women archetypes enter, and fade this music out after all four have all sat down. Then wait 15 seconds before beginning the next piece of music.)

(When the music starts, the four Feminine Archetypes enter as a group, from the east, walking in a line with the Crone leading and Maiden at the end. They turn to begin walking clockwise around the circle. Immediately the Maiden takes her place, next to — NOT in front of or behind — her counterpart the Warrior.)

(The remaining three women continue clockwise. Upon reaching the south, the Mother remains there. The other two continue, with the Crone remaining in the west with the Magician, and the Queen arriving at the north. When all four women are in their places they sit simultaneously.)

(NOTE: As described here, the masculine archetypes are standing because this is a male same-sex wedding. For the marriage of a man and a woman marrying, have all eight archetypes remain standing. For a same-sex wedding of two women, have the 4 men be seated.)

(Celebrant note: This placement of archetypes is probably different from other similar "medicine-wheel" type systems you may have encountered elsewhere. I chose the order because of the heirarchy of levels of awareness / reality (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) and also starting in the east and going clockwise, which is a common element from many cultures based on the sun's movement in the sky seen from the northern hemisphere. However, in this ceremony there is to be no explicit verbal mention of "east", "south" etc., nor of the four classical elements (air, fire, etc.) colors, animals, or any other elements frequently associated with such circles, mainly because I don't want to give the people extra stuff to think about.)

This music often accompanys the entrance of women at weddings, and to me it has always represented all that is great about women. — RM

— — -- music cue: silence [approx. 4:30]

(the CELEBRANT will speak)

{Celebrant note that I will be removing most of the next few paragraphs, and replace them with bold text for the program.}

CELEBRANT: (Introduce the concept of archetype and give the pertinent definitions:

1. : a very typical example of a certain person or thing

1.c. PSYCHOANALYSIS (in Jungian psychology) : a primitive mental image inherited from the earliest human ancestors, and supposed to be present in the collective unconscious)

(Summarize and paraphrase) [There are two types — the first and more well-known is the proper-named icon — for example, the typecast personality of Clint Eastwood or Marilyn Monroe — or the Ulysses or Pandora of Greek mythology. Here however we invoke generic, elemental archetypes: The Warrior, Lover, Magician, King, Maiden, Mother, Crone, and Queen.]

(Summarize and paraphrase) [Both types of archetypes — proper-named and generic — serve as stereotyped examples of human behaviour by which we can better understand ourselves and those around us. But while the proper-named icons can be constructed out of a combination of two or more elemental archetypes measured out in equal or differing quantities — an elemental archetype cannot be so constructed out of a combination of proper-named icons. Each generic archetype represents mature and productive qualities only, without any immature or hindering qualities.]

We have arranged these archetypes in clockwise order corresponding to the Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual aspects of the world around us.

(The following eight spoken parts will be printed on index cards for use by the people playing the eight archetypes — see Appendix A.)

MAIDEN: I am the Maiden — youth, purity of heart, love and curiousity; all possibilities are within me.

WARRIOR: I am the Warrior — confidence, bravery and strength in the face of physical and financial challenge.

MOTHER: I am the Mother — creativity, nurturing, devotion, and the fullness of emotional expression.

LOVER: I am the Lover — I have awareness of all around me, and am the master of my feelings and emotion.

CRONE: I am the Crone — the wisdom of the community, providing honesty and guidance for women and men, young and old.

MAGICIAN: I am the Magician — master of knowledge, with an ever-open and questioning mind.

QUEEN: I am the Queen — I have balance of power, authority, and mastery of all I create for my community.

KING: I am the King — my generousity is impeded neither by lack nor by adundance — I lead by serving all who come to me.

The eight Archetypes will each give a brief description of the human qualities they represent:

I am the Maiden — youth, purity of heart, love and curiousity; all possibilities are within me.

I am the Warrior — confidence, bravery and strength in the face of physical and financial challenge.

I am the Mother — creativity, nurturing, devotion, and the fullness of emotional expression.

I am the Lover — I have awareness of all around me, and am the master of my feelings and emotion.

I am the Crone — the wisdom of the community, providing honesty and guidance for women and men, young and old.

I am the Magician — master of knowledge, with an ever-open and questioning mind.

I am the Queen — I have balance of power, authority, and mastery of all I create for my community.

I am the King — my generousity is impeded neither by lack nor by adundance — I lead by serving all who come to me.

— — -- music cue: Serenade in Bb major (Adagio) K 361 (m: W. A. Mozart) [approx. 2:00]

The partners to be wed approach the circle from the east (h0,h1,h2) and west (mo,m1,m2). Just after stepping into the circle they proceed clockwise, remaining opposite each other.